my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
