put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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