just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
