yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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