she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
