Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
