id be glad to
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
