Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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