I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
