I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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