would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
