People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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