you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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