one two three fourrrrnication!
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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