i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
