For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
