I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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