Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
