Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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