She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
organizing the empties. That sober.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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