why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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