If i come over, it means nothing
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
