Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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