I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
