I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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