It's Friday. Sex?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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