Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
