By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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