Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
