haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
