i don't like sucking hair
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
