It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize