Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
