Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
