How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
