just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
