mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
