How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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