he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
