This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
