went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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