I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
