I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
