I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
