? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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