remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
