I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
