C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
