So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
