so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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