did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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