Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
