did you get engaged???
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
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